I'm writing a novel. It's a fantastic novel that dips it's toes into magic and wades into fantasy. In my mind, it is great but when it comes out on paper it's something else. Maybe it's like when someone gives birth; for 9 months you imagine this child and what they could be like or what they could possibly look like. And then you see him/her in front of you and you realize that they have their own personality independent of you. That they have semblances of you in their physicality but they look entirely like their own self with a face never seen before. That no matter how long you wished or dreampt or thought of this creation, in the end you really have such little real influence over the creation process itself that it's better to realize this before you even have the child. Else you'll hold on too tight, create unrealistic expectations, head down a bitter road of unrequited wants and never be fully satisfied.
I believe if you create the time every day inspiration will know where to knock. The key is to let in that inspiration and allow the story to be its own person instead of suffocating it and twisting it and altering it to fit into your pre-concieved "outline". This is not to say, let the story run amuk because back to our metaphor?..simile?..every baby needs constant nourishing and direction to grow properly so we should never confuse whose really in the driver's seat. But to allow ourselves to let the story come, to practice like the dickens to be able to transfer these lovely, intangible visions into words on paper, and hone the raw talent that bubbles up from within our creative psyche to become a world that others can see and feel and hear.
This morning I woke up two hours too early and tried to think up a better beginning of my story. My brain got twisted up like my sheets that no matter how many ways I bundled them, scrunched them, flattened them etc I could not get comfortable. This is a post to remind myself that the things we want most usually come after diligent hard work and persistence but also a bit of relinquishing the reins to allow Karma, intuition, luck and everything else good to come our way.